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Birdman (2014)

Reporter: It was tweeted by @prostatewhispers.
Riggan: That's not true.
Mike: Tonight they were laughing, tomorrow they'll be tweeting.
Sam: You hate bloggers, you mock Twitter. You don't even have a Facebook page!
Sam: Posting a photo of you on your Twitter page.
Riggan: I have a Twitter page?
Sam: Yeah, I set it up today.
Chef (2014)

Martin: F--k Twitter. Come on, get out of here.
Carl: F--k Twitter, what are you talking about, F--k Twitter?
Martin: I mean, you know, f--k 'em. That's what I mean. I mean, who reads that shit anyhow?
Carl: I'm not on Twitter. I don't know what you're talking about.
Tony: Yo, Big Dog, f--k Twitter.
Carl: F--k Twitter. Again with the F--k Twitter. Why should I F--k Twitter?
Tony: You're not on Twitter?
Carl: No.
Carl: What does Twitter have to do with p---y?
Carl: So show me what's on Twitter that's so bad that I should see.
Carl: And as far as your publicist goes, when she calls back, you let her know that I understand that I shouldn't tweet any pictures of my d--k and any career advice should be kept to one's self.
Carl: I know, I was on Twitter. I was promoting the restaurant.
Riva: What?
Carl: I was on Twitter.
Riva: Yeah, that's another thing. From now on before you post anything online, I okay it. All right?
Riva: Yeah, and you're gonna Twitter an apology for calling the most respected critic in Los Angeles an asshole.
Percy: I tweeted the picture on your account and then geotagged it.
Couples Retreat (2009)

Dave: Look at all these people. They're running around, they're...They're sexting, they're krumping, they're twatting each other 'cause their day's so special they have to share it with the world.
Joey: It's called tweeting.
Dave: I call it twatting!
Deadpool (2016)

Draft Day (2014)

Flypaper (2011)

Frank (2014)

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Lou: What about Twitter? Whatever the f@#$ that is. Hey, we could combine Twitter with f@#$ing Viagra. Twitt-agra.
John Hodgman: Ragnarok (2013)

John: People make jokes about my mustache to me on Twitter.
John: I did get one ... a third joke on Twitter about my mustache. And this joke, I have to say, was kind of a brilliant joke. And it makes me very sorry that I deleted this tweet and do not remember the name of the person who made it.
Lazer Team (2015)

Machete Kills (2013)

Machete: Machete don't tweet.
Mistress America (2015)

Brooke: Just a quick tweet on Twitter.
Brooke: I don't tweet all of it.
Brooke: I'm gonna shorten that, punch it up, and turn it into a tweet.
Tracy: Stop talking about Twitter, it's so awkward.
Moana (2016)

Maui: Maui always has time for his fans. When you use a bird to write with it's called tweeting.
Paradise (2013)

Church Sign: Why Twitter with Satan when you can friend with God.
Particle Fever (2013)

Physicist: Now we'll become, you know, CERN Twitter junkies.
Physicist 1: Obviously, we're going to learn about the first discovery on Twitter and Facebook.
Physicist 2: That's so sad, but I think it's true.
Physicist 1: First, like, check Nima's Twitter feed. Then check the arXiv.
Physicist 2: If Nima has a Twitter feed, then there's something has been discovered.
Pussy Riot: A Punk Prayer (2013)

Member 1: Where are our lawyers?
Member 2: They're giving interviews, tiwttering or at the bar.
Tonight You're Mine (2011)

Mark: Why don't you put it on Facebook or something.
Lake: Twitter's so much better than Facebook.
Lake: Oh, my God. Have you seen Twitter? It's crazy.
Vamps (2012)

You Again (2010)

Being Human: It Takes Two to Make a Thing Go Wrong (2011)

Aidan: The Vatican Tweets! I hate this decade.
Being Human (UK): Eve of the War (2012)

You think humanity is just gonna cower in its little hovel while you stampede? Before you reach the first major city they'll have raised an army. On Twitter.
Being Human (UK): In The Morning (2010)

Ivan: Just, just leave it to me, I've got most of them on my Twitter feed so it'll be all right, ok?
Being Human (UK): Making History (2012)

Cutler: Tonight is the last full moon before the Old Ones arrive and in a few hours, this place will be packed full with people, mainly young people, all with their camera phones and Twitter, and all the technology we need to spread this event around the globe.
Being Human (UK): Puppy Love (2012)

Allison: You know we trended last full moon? On Twitter.
Doctor Who: The Bells of Saint John (2013)

Doctor: Human souls trapped like flies in the World Wide Web. Stuck forever. Crying out for help.
Clara: Isn't that basically Twitter?
Doctor: A few hours ago you knew nothing about the internet. And you just made a joke about Twitter.
Doctor Who: The Girl Who Waited (2011)

Doctor Who: I bring you to a paradise planet 2 billion light years from earth, and you want to update Twitter?
Doctor Who: The Power of Three (2012)

Kate: Within three hours, the cubes had 1,000 separate Twitter accounts.
Doctor: Twitter.
Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23: The Scarlet Neighbor (2013)

Chloe: June is taking me to a farm to meet nice guys. I have to Tweet this plow joke I just thought of and then I'm ready.
Elementary: A Giant Gun, Filled with Drugs (2013)

Watson: What are you reading?
Sherlock: Emily's Twitter feed. Excruciating medium. Demonstrates that brevity does not protect against dullness. That said, it does serve as a modern day equivalent of a diary, so who's to say it won't turn up a suspect?
Sherlock: Emily made a curious Twitter entry under the hashtag: "that awkward moment." Apparently it is a category for documenting uncomfortable social experiences.
Elementary: Corpse de Ballet (2014)

Toby: Half the company tweeted their regrets for the deceased before we even got here. A couple of them even mentioned that she was cut in two.
Gravity: Love at First Suicide (2010)

Adam: I'm a Tweetician. It's like a Twitter mortician.
iZombie: Brother, Can You Spare A Brain? (2015)

Blaine: I'll be there all afternoon just writing my screenplay live Tweeting its progress.
Last Resort: Nuke It Out (2012)

Forrest: You can stop pretending to check your Twitter, Ms. Sinclair. The Admiral isn't coming.
The Michael J. Fox Show: Hobbies (2013)

Leigh: Oh, hey, you got a Tweet, and it is not nice. Who is iwentthere98?
Eve: It's Lisa Mitchell. She's this horrible girl from school. She started a Twitter war with me all because I said I liked her mom jeans.
Eve: I quit Twitter!
Principal: And as far as those Twitter comments go, completely unacceptable.
Modern Family: Game Changer (2010)

Claire: We've got to find your dad one of those iPad thingies. So, Haley, text everyone you know. Alex, Facebook, chat, Tweet, buzz, bling -- I don't know -- just do what you have to do. We have got to find one of these iPads, okay?
Once Upon a Time: In The Name of the Brother (2013)

Emma: Pictures of him alone at a bunch of eastern seaboard tourist locations. A LinkedIn account and he Tweets pictures of his food. I'll keep looking but I think what we have here is a well documented real life ordinary Joe.
Parks and Recreation: Fluoride (2013)

Tom: Everyone who Tweets at T-Dazzle in the next hour will be entered to win an exciting plain blue t-shirt.
Parks and Recreation: Galentine's Day (2014)

Donna: What is your favorite TV show? Well, for live Tweeting, it's Scandal. For binge watching it's Scandal. But for fashion it's actually Scandal. My answer is Scandal.
Parks and Recreation: Gin It Up! (2013)

Chris: Excuse me, we have an issue. A Tweet has been Tweeted from the Parks and Rec Twitter, and I'm afraid it is quite sexually graphic.
Leslie: It's probably just dome bored teenager who hacked the account.
Leslie: We think that you may have accidentally Tweeted from the Parks and Rec account rather than your own personal account.
Donna: Uh oh. What'd it say?
Leslie: See you tonight. Hope you like tongue baths, you big nasty fireman.
Reporter: I'm here live, at a press conference, where councilman Jeremy Jamm will discuss a government scandal we are calling Twitter Watergate until we can find a snappier name or it.
Councilman Jamm: These hearings have two goals. One, to find out exactly how this offensive Tweet came to be sent. And two, to turn this whole thing into a media circus.
Leslie: Uh, a Parks and Rec employee forgot to log out of the Parks and Rec Twitter account, and they posted a personal, private message by accident, and, uh, that person is very sorry, and it won't happen again.
Jeremy Jamm: When this sick, depraved Tweet first came to light, you said, the account was probably hacked by some bored teenager.
Donna: Look, the only reason I'm even on Twitter is to blow off steam about work and Tweet nasty stuff to dudes with washboard abs.
Parks and Recreation: Halloween Surprise (2012)

Donna: I hope no one minds if I live Tweet this bitch.
Donna: Read my Twitter feed. I live Tweeted the first three this morning in preparation.
Morris: I'm just saying, you should have put "Spoiler Alert" on all those Death Canoe Tweets. Also, not safe for work. You know, a lot of what you wrote was really profane.
Donna: That movie's 25 years old, Morris. And if you don't like how I Tweet, don't follow me.
Morris: What are you doing now? I'm talking to you.
Donna: I'm live Tweeting this dumbass conversation.
Parks and Recreation: The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic (2013)

Tom: According to her Twitter feed, she got coffee five minutes ago.
Suburgatory: Apocalypse Meow (2013)

Sheila: Every teenager loves to scream and shout and text and Tweet about how unfair it is that they're not in charge.
Suburgatory: The Birds and the Biederman (2014)

Sheila: Furthermore, he must cease and desist Tweeting about me!
George: I've never Tweeted about her! I'm not even on Twitter!
Tessa: Actually, Noah set up a parody account called @therealgeorgealtman. It's -- It's blue but pretty entertaining stuff.
Suburgatory: Brown Trembler (2013)

Fred: You help me Tweet something awesome, and you'll never have to work a day in your life.
Suburgatory: Decemberfold (2013)

Lisa: We all know freshman year I was blocked from Dalia's Facebook and Twitter accounts after being falsely accused of stalking her.
Tessa: I knew it was weird when you started being nice to me all of a sudden, but I have no idea why you are Tweeting and posting every stupid interaction we have for the whole world to see.
Supergirl: Pilot (2015)

Reporter: Miss Grant dubbed National City's new female hero Supergirl. And if Twitter is any indicator, the name appears to be catching on.
Under the Dome: Force Majeure (2014)

Norrie: We're super trendy in Twitter land.
Under the Dome: The Red Door (2014)

Norrie: Hounds of Diana. Someone with that weird name posted on my Twitter.

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