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John Hodgman: Ragnarok (2013)

Real Brands
The Bell House
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Empire Mayonnaise
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John: So here's some mayonnaise. It was donated to us by the Empire Mayonnaise Company. Hodgman brand survival mayonnaise.
Etsy
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John; We had a perfectly normal Halloween. We went around smiling, handing sustainably harvested organic candies to one another in our homemade Etsy costumes, protected by our liberal dome of sanctimony, because, apparently, God loves the godless best.
Guerrini Accordion
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Pringles
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John: He said, "Are you growing that mustache because you have landed the lead role in the major motion picture based on Pringles?
Slip 'n Slide
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John: If you have kids, tape together some garbage bags, put 'em out on the lawn, thin layer of mayonnaise, you just made a Slip 'n Slide. Kids will slide on that all day long.
Twitter
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John: People make jokes about my mustache to me on Twitter.
John: I did get one ... a third joke on Twitter about my mustache. And this joke, I have to say, was kind of a brilliant joke. And it makes me very sorry that I deleted this tweet and do not remember the name of the person who made it.
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